Well, my friends, things are finally looking up, and good timing, too, since I’m sure you’re all sick of me bitching.
In what feels like a fairly short time, I’ve come from sitting around my house on crutches, too crippled to do anything, to a whirlwind existence of physical therapy, freelance jobs, bike repair, race neutral service, and working for Blue Sky Velo as their vice-president. Plus my day job.
I’m not riding yet (still just doing short stints on the trainer), but I’ve got so much going on that I miss it a little less… plus now I can finally start to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I know I will get on the bike in due time, when my knee is ready. I have accepted the extremely slow pace of progress, and hell… it’s wintertime, anyway.
Have I learned a lot during this down time? Yes, for sure. But I’ve also learned that everyone has to deal with this kind of stuff at their own pace. When you’re pissed off and upset, you don’t need some wise guy telling you how “when one door closes, another one opens.” While that may turn out to be completely true, what you need in that moment is for someone to say, “You’re right — this totally blows!”
And having friends who make an effort to listen and cheer you up and bring you homemade dinners really helps, too. Because whatever silver lining may emerge from those dark times can’t be rushed. Sometimes you have to sit in the dark and think. Maybe there are people who don’t understand; they think you’re a crybaby. But I’m guessing it’s safe to say that our inner worlds often don’t reflect our outer worlds. Sometimes we’re perfectly happy in the face of adversity, and sometimes we suffer from the slightest blows. I have come to believe it’s not our place to judge another’s state of mind.
I think most people will evolve and learn and reap the benefits of a challenging time. It they don’t, perhaps they’re not ready to see those things just yet. I’m glad to have gotten clear on a few things while stuck on the couch, and I can’t pretend this experience wasn’t good for me in a lot of ways.
So… does this mean that the Awesome Meter is pegged at 11 right now? Not quite. I’m hustling every hour of the day, trying to make things happen. I get frustrated with myself when bike repairs take longer than I want them to, or when I encounter something I’m not familiar with on a bike. But I have two rad professional mechanics who are willing to help me, and I’m having a great time learning something new. Every friend that calls wanting their bike worked on gets me stoked. And so the Awesome Meter is definitely climbing.
With any luck, I’ll be out on the trails next summer… not only back to doing what I love, but helping others with my newfound wrench knowledge.