Time for a Turnaround

Well, my friends, things are finally looking up, and good timing, too, since I’m sure you’re all sick of me bitching. ;)

Recent bike build, including wheels… fun!

In what feels like a fairly short time, I’ve come from sitting around my house on crutches, too crippled to do anything, to a whirlwind existence of physical therapy, freelance jobs, bike repair, race neutral service, and working for Blue Sky Velo as their vice-president. Plus my day job.

I’m not riding yet (still just doing short stints on the trainer), but I’ve got so much going on that I miss it a little less… plus now I can finally start to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I know I will get on the bike in due time, when my knee is ready. I have accepted the extremely slow pace of progress, and hell… it’s wintertime, anyway.

Have I learned a lot during this down time? Yes, for sure. But I’ve also learned that everyone has to deal with this kind of stuff at their own pace. When you’re pissed off and upset, you don’t need some wise guy telling you how “when one door closes, another one opens.” While that may turn out to be completely true, what you need in that moment is for someone to say, “You’re right — this totally blows!”

And having friends who make an effort to listen and cheer you up and bring you homemade dinners really helps, too. Because whatever silver lining may emerge from those dark times can’t be rushed. Sometimes you have to sit in the dark and think. Maybe there are people who don’t understand; they think you’re a crybaby. But I’m guessing it’s safe to say that our inner worlds often don’t reflect our outer worlds. Sometimes we’re perfectly happy in the face of adversity, and sometimes we suffer from the slightest blows. I have come to believe it’s not our place to judge another’s state of mind.

I think most people will evolve and learn and reap the benefits of a challenging time. It they don’t, perhaps they’re not ready to see those things just yet. I’m glad to have gotten clear on a few things while stuck on the couch, and I can’t pretend this experience wasn’t good for me in a lot of ways.

So… does this mean that the Awesome Meter is pegged at 11 right now?  Not quite. I’m hustling every hour of the day, trying to make things happen. I get frustrated with myself when bike repairs take longer than I want them to, or when I encounter something I’m not familiar with on a bike. But I have two rad professional mechanics who are willing to help me, and I’m having a great time learning something new. Every friend that calls wanting their bike worked on gets me stoked. And so the Awesome Meter is definitely climbing.

With any luck, I’ll be out on the trails next summer… not only back to doing what I love, but helping others with my newfound wrench knowledge.

Sick.

Posted in bike repair | Tagged , | 2 Comments

This Raised My Pulse

Hey, baby… wanna ride? I may be injured, but I’m not dead yet. I can still have racy thoughts. Here’s more info.

In other news, UBI was an awesome success! I had a blast. I highly recommend it.

Overhaul day…. hubs need love

The instructors are great. Beyond just knowing how to DO something, they know how to teach other people to do it. Our class of 16 had a great time tearing into hubs, headsets, bottom brackets, suspension forks, etc. etc. On a late-night session, I even took apart an old coaster brake, as well as a Campy hub, a Chris King hub, and a set of SPD pedals. Booyah.

And now that I’m home, I’m already getting bikes to work on from my friends, which is great. Need anything done, send it my way!

Not only that, I am ready to rock the pits for Mavic this cross season, finally. I’m off crutches, I’ve got a jump pack full of tools and I’m not afraid to use them. I’ll be kicking off the season with the Blue Sky Velo Cup at Xilinx… I hope you all are planning to race this awesome course.

On a final note, I’m planning ahead to when I can finally begin riding by reading this book:

Since I am 100% detrained at this point, base work will be very important. However, as Chapple makes clear, thorough base training is required for anyone trying to get faster. Who knows, maybe next summer will be my best year in a while. :)

 

 

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Destination: Bike Ninja

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Not exactly like that, yet almost exactly like that.

In two days, I leave for Portland, where I will spend two weeks face down in books and bicycle grease. Yay! I couldn’t be more stoked. I doubt I’ll learn anything like using a skateboard as a bench vice holder, like this dude recommends:

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But I know I’ll learn some rad stuff in the company of fun people, in a groovy city that for now seems to have a sunny forecast. I promise to resist the overwhelming juggernaut of peer pressure to come home with sixteen tattoos.

If I have time, I will try to post occasionally to offer a peek into the magic of the United Bicycle Institute.

Most importantly, upon my return, I’ll need bikes to work on! Bring me your out of true wheels, your skipping derailleurs, your creaking bottom brackets. I will fix them for FREE! You read that right. I have two professional mechanics (head of Mavic SSC and the Team Maxxis lead mechanic) overseeing my work, so do not fear for the safety of your precious steed.

I’m also slated to work neutral service at a bunch of cross races this fall, most of them with Mavic. Please spread the word that if you attend a cyclocross race and you see the big yellow tent in the pits, we are there for YOU. If you have problems, or need a wheel during the race, just start yelling. We’ll get you rocking again like Lee Majors.

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You will be better… stronger… faster!

 

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Sick! Dual Slalom Racing is Here!

This is exactly what I wanted to be doing this summer:

A couple of young ladies smoke the dual slalom course at Valmont’s opening day

If you’ve had your eye on dual slalom like I have, go check out the clinics and racing at Valmont Bike Park this Sunday. You need to go for three compelling reasons:

1. It will make you a better rider.

2. You probably don’t want to get your ass handed to you by teenage girls, since they can obviously waste on you already. Don’t fall any farther behind.

3. You need to blow the doors off this thing so it happens all the time and I can go next summer!

Here’s the info:

http://bouldermountainbike.org/events/boulder-mountain-bike-festival#slalom

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Pump it Real Good!

This is a great looking pump track. No surprise it’s in Whistler. :)

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On the Road to Recovery

I’m about ten days post-surgery today, and this is the Frankenleg that emerged from my bandage at my post-op appointment on Friday. Luckily, there’s no chance of this thing rising from the table to stumble through Boulder terrorizing people. A six-year-old could fight it off with a balloon sword.

But actually, it looks pretty good, according to my doctor, and that’s the only opinion I care about right now. I have to say, though, scars don’t bother me so much as how wasted my leg has become. It was significantly shrunken even before the procedure, so this is no surprise. Get this: my doc says that seven days of non-weightbearing can cause 60% muscle loss. Damn!

I’m certainly the poster child for that sad fact: I can barely lift my own shriveled limb onto the couch. I stare at it and think….how the hell did I get here? My legs used to be used so muscular that it was a huge pain in the ass to buy jeans. Now I could probably get into those fixie-hipster pants that are (please tell me) going out of style. But thank god — my muscle will come back, hopefully unlike those jeans.

At any rate, the surgery, known as patellar debridement, is an uncommon procedure these days. Most people are able to get their tendonitis under control and avoid being cut open. The doc tells me my tendon was in pretty bad shape, which makes me think…I don’t understand what I did wrong.  As you all know, I stopped riding six months ago, and have done nothing but ice, stretch, take prescription-grade anti-inflammatories, and avoid stairs. I tried cross-friction massage, physical therapy, and a Platelet Rich Plasma injection.  It’s a huge unknown why none of the things I did were able to help… and I’m now on the couch staring at a leg I don’t even recognize as my own.

My doc looks at me sympathetically when I ask this question. She’d like to be able to give me a solid answer, but sometimes the body is just a mystery. Maybe, she says, the tendon was simply on a trajectory of degeneration that couldn’t be turned around. But still, I’m left with this uncomfortable feeling that I did something wrong, or else didn’t do something right.

But the doc has done what she can: cut out the worst of the tissue, “roughed up” the rest (to stimulate the body’s healing response), packed the whole area full of more platelet-rich plasma, and sewn me back up. Now I swing around on crutches while all of this takes hold. Even though my hands, armpits and spine aren’t too happy about it, I find myself clinging to the crutches, almost dreading the point late next week when I’m supposed to ditch them. I don’t want to do anything to risk the healing of this tendon. I can’t possibly face this situation dragging on past the three-to-four month timeframe she’s given me. But what can I do? She’s the expert; I have to trust her guidance.

It’s obvious I’m bogged down in a bit of fear about all this, isn’t it? I’m having trouble letting go of the unanswered questions… why couldn’t my body heal itself? Did I do something wrong? Some people who have had this surgery report that their tendons are forever hypersensitive. What if I can never mountain bike to the level that I was before? I didn’t even have the nerve to ask her that question, and she probably would have avoided really answering it. It’s probably too early to say.

But, the way I figure is, this has to be rock bottom. Right? There’s nowhere to go but out of the proverbial gutter? Besides, worrying has never done anyone one damn bit of good. I have to consider every negative thought a bad choice. And I do have a choice, difficult as it is, sometimes.

So I have to stop watching everyone else enjoying their rad summers and pay attention. I have a long, solitary walk (or hobble) down the road of healing, and it’s going to require focus to make sure it gets done right. But that’s okay – sometimes it’s good to start from the bottom. A lot of small things can feel like progress. And when you finally make it back up to the light, everything seems more beautiful after you’ve been in the dark.

If there’s one thing that’s been mind-blowingly, incredibly awesome about all this, its what an amazing group of friends of I have. So many people have gone out of their way to help me – to drive me to my appointments, bring me food they made themselves, take me to movies, push my cart through the grocery store, make ice and/or chocolate deliveries, send me cheerful messages — the list goes on and on. It is truly humbling how fantastic my friends are to me, and that, of course, guides my other mission: to be as good a friend to them as they have been to me.

And if you’ve read this far, you too are deserving of thanks! I hope to repay you all with future posts that grow our collective stoke in the sport we love.

 

Posted in injury, Uncategorized | 2 Comments

Buffalo Creek Just Keeps Getting Radder

Check it out…it’s more than just buff smoothness now! Sick!!

http://www.denverpost.com/extremes/ci_18458907

 

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Sometimes…

Recovery boots for legs that hurt from doing nothing.

You can’t win for tryin’.

The complete and total internet silence emanating from this site has been an echo of my state of mind: I’ve had nothing positive to say, so I will say nothing at all.

The Cliffs Notes of the last couple of months are thus: my patellar tendon completely failed to respond to PRP. An MRI and three opinions later, and there’s nothing I can do about the fact that my tendon has become “significantly diseased.” As a result, I am scheduled for surgery later this month.

I haven’t ridden my bike in six months, and it will likely be another six before I am truly riding.

After three years screwed up by back injuries, I’m now losing yet another year. I find myself thinking, What? A year??? Seriously? Although I know plenty of people who have been injured and lost significant time, they also has significant injuries. Broken bones, back surgeries, and the like. Traumatic insults to the body, for sure. And me? I had tiny little micro-tears in a tendon that simply refused to heal. And now they are big tears that have little hope of coming back together without the surgeon’s help. How tiresome and lame is that?

I can’t even begin to explain how sick I am of being injured. Not just this past six months, but huge chunks of time over the past FOUR YEARS. And as for this round, not only does it utterly suck to be in pain every single day for months on end, it’s even more demoralizing to see zero improvement. If you can at least see your body making efforts to heal, you can have hope. But when nothing changes and you feel no different from March to July, it’s easy to lose the faith.

And when I realize all the things I’ve lost along with my faith, it’s truly depressing:

1. A chance to race the Ashland Super D after a two-day clinic with pro Rebecca Rusch and then write about it for CyclingNews.

2. A spot as a blogger/rider for the Breck Epic Three-Day.

3. The yearly trip to Crested Butte with my good friends.

4. More opportunities to review women’s gear (and make much needed money).

5. The ability to ride Valmont Bike Park, which I have spent so much time dreaming about/writing about.

6. The ability to ride the new Benjamin trail at Betasso, another long-awaited addition.

7. Opportunities to ride in new places – always a coveted event in my book! — with friends both old and new.

8. Endless invitations from friends to ride in Fruita, Moab, Buffalo Creek, Curt Gowdy, etc etc ad nauseam.

9. And last but certainly not least, the daily pleasure of rides that keep me sane and happy. Not to mention the fact that without them, I am out of shape both physically and mentally. My legs are wasting away, my lungs and heart reflect how sedentary my knee has forced me to become, and my world has shrunk along with them. While everyone else is busy leading their fun and interesting lives, I just drag myself to work and back each day. For six freaking months now. Think back to what you were doing around Christmas, and that’s the time I actually rode my bike.

Well. So, now what? As a wise friend told me, I have to go through this. Can’t go backward or skip forwards. I need to gain what I can from this experience.

But is it considered immature and uncool if I’m damn sick and tired of life trying to teach me its damn lessons? Of course it is. In this town, where everyone’s neck deep in self-analysis, I’m supposed to instantly move on from this problem and gain some kind of spiritual quantum leap forward. Well, sorry. It’s not that easy. I’ve got a lot of other problems I’m dealing with besides this one, and they’re all pretty resistant to solutions.

Deeeep breath. Okay, got that off my chest. In the end, I do recognize that everyone’s dealing with shit. And things could certainly be worse. I’m not permanently crippled (although it’s starting to feel like it), I have wonderful and supportive friends, and thank god I have a job with health insurance, or the surgery couldn’t happen at all.

So what’s keeping me going? This:

I will be attending the United Bicycle Institute in Portland this fall. It’s been a dream for many years, and I have finally worked out how to make it happen. Stoked!!!

So while I’m basically watching the summer pass me by, at least I can bring this other desire to fruition. And maybe I can get a handle on these other issues while I’m at it.

Keep on riding, everyone, and be grateful for even the bad days. Being able to ride  — even  if you think you’re slow or bad at it or whatever — is a tremendous blessing. And the unvarnished truth is….you never know which ride might be your last for a long, long time.

 

 

 

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Thoughts on PRP

I am now two months out from my PRP injection, and I thought I’d weigh in on what is considered to be an early stage in the healing process. PRP is supposed to achieve results in anywhere from four to six months. It’s a long healing process, but so is tendonitis in general.

Now, while some may accuse me of being impatient with the healing process (which is certainly true, I’ll admit, who wouldn’t be?), I have to also say that I think this treatment is turning out to be ineffective for me.

At the moment, the pain in my tendon is significantly worse than it was before the injection. I can’t stand (like while covering a baseball game, etc.) for more than about 30 minutes before it starts to hurt, and often the pain wakes me up in the middle of the night. I didn’t have either of these problems (not even remotely) before the injection. And worst of all, I have seen very little improvement in my symptoms over the past five weeks. My injury is, quite honestly, stagnating as far as I can tell.

Andy did a follow-up ultrasound a short while ago and found that new tendon tissue is indeed forming and doing what it’s supposed to be doing, but perhaps not as quickly as he would like. He even took my pictures along on a vacation with other tendon specialists and asked their opinion (which was very nice of him, I must say); they concurred that a second injection was advised. It’s not at all uncommon for PRP patients to need a second injection.

However, I did not find that very reassuring. If I’d been experiencing any progress this past month or so, I might go for it. But the plain truth is that I am in far more pain now, two months later, than I ever was before the injection. In fact, I’m regretting the first injection….it doesn’t appear to be treating me well. Therefore, a second one has very little appeal at this point.

Now, I know you’re all screaming in your heads: get a second opinion, dumbass! So I did.  Doctor #2 examined my knee and was bothered by the amount of pain and inflammation still going on in there (and she’s familiar with PRP), so she gave me a prescription-grade anti-inflammatory. She also agreed that a second injection seems like a bad idea, since I show little sign of recovering from the first one. Instead she asked me to get an MRI.

And while I’m very willing to do anything I can to get out of pain, I’m a bit stuck on the cost of the MRI. It’s something I’m still grappling with. (I did see the widely circulated story that came out recently on MRI shopping. Pretty interesting.)

At any rate, I want to say that quite a bit of study has been done on the effectiveness of PRP for patallar tendonitis, and for most people, the results are positive. I think I’m just one of the unlucky ones who is not seeing relief from it. While I understand that it’s still early in a long-term process, I feel like I should at least be seeing some small measure of improvement as time goes on, rather than this Groundhog Day-effect where I’m in the same level of pain for weeks on end.

I don’t want this post to seem like a condemnation of PRP or of Andy’s treatment; he’s gone above and beyond the call of duty in many ways to help me out, and I am deeply appreciative. Everybody reacts differently to things, and those reactions cannot be predicted. That’s why medicine is not a perfect science.

At any rate, I am hopeful that the anti-inflammatory can break what is known as the inflammation cycle, and kick-start some healing for me, because as you can easily tell, I am deeply frustrated by this prolonged down time from the sport I love so much.

So, in the end, it’s not wrong to try new things to improve your health. You just have to face the consequences if those things aren’t helpful. The take-home message for anyone who’s actually read this far should be: take care of your body, you never know when it’s going to crap out on you.   :)

Stretch daily, even if you hate it and it’s boring. Use the foam roller with frequency, even if you hate it and it’s boring. Because you don’t want to experience how much you’ll hate being injured and how bored you’ll be while it’s healing. I can promise you that. :)

Now, stay tuned for a much more entertaining post in the next few days: I have a reader in Arizona who has kindly provided me with GPS files for a number of kick-ass trails in his neck of the woods. I know our timing is way off, since warm weather is already upon us here and we don’t need to road trip to the “But it’s a dry heat!” state. But I’m stoked about this because I’ve been dying for riders outside of Colorado to send me this kind of information. Sweet! It will be here waiting for you next winter, when you’re dying to escape the snow with a rad road trip to sunny climes.

As always, thanks for reading.

 

 

 

 

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The Fire Within

I had an interesting convergence of conversations today about riding, and the place it holds in the lives of riders.

Honestly, I was quite relieved to find that I’m not alone in my obsession.

In other forms of love, I’ve suffered the slings and arrows, just like we all have. The deceptions, the letdowns, the time and heart lost to devotion unreturned.  But deep down, I always knew that riding was the love affair that would never end. Until it did.

I take full responsibility for that ending, but still, I feel like a jilted lover. I mope around the house, shooting dirty looks at the Maverick as if it’s the bike’s fault. Every time I see mtb videos on the internet, the pangs of jealousy make me want to turn away. But like the woman who sees her man with another girl, I helplessly succumb to the voyeuristic longing. Damn, it looks even better now that I can’t have it…

And it’s not like I can just rub one out and get on with it.

For me, the urge to stomp on the pedals ranks just as high as our other human desires. And I might as well be cloistered in an abbey right now, I’m so deprived.

So I’m relieved when I hear that other people suffer this way, too; that their stress relieving mechanism is gone, that they are frustrated and saddened, that they feel left behind by their pedaling friends.

But the beauty of this situation is captured in that deeply irritating cliche: Absence makes the heart grow fonder. While on the surface I am saying, “Oh yeah? It was pretty frickin’ fond to begin with, f*ckface,” it is certain that when I finally get back to the trails, I will fall back in love so deeply that there will be no digging out.

And I know that my other suffering friends will be right there with me.

Hang tough, Rick.

 

Posted in injury, mental training | Tagged , | 2 Comments